


Six Feet Apart

by autumntulip



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Flashbacks, Forced Proximity, Idol Verse, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Jeon Wonwoo, Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, light mentions of pandemic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:29:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24299638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumntulip/pseuds/autumntulip
Summary: After a series of unfortunate events involving Soonyoung, his love for kimchi, and reckless impulse, Wonwoo is forced to face everything he most wanted and most dreaded at the same time: being under lockdown alone with Wen Junhui.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun
Comments: 23
Kudos: 242





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to the New Zealand government, not only due to their amazing response during these difficult times but also for the shelter-in-place notice that, honestly, has the potential to inspire many, many fics (you’ll find an excerpt here). Thanks for keeping at least one of my friends safe. Unfortunately, the country I live in and the one I come from are both competing hard over the Worse Response position.
> 
> That said, I promise this story will have minor mentions of the current pandemic situation. This is not the focus here.  
> Stay safe, stay home, take care. I hope you enjoy this ride.
> 
> As always and forever, many thanks to my amazing beta.

Wonwoo always knew nothing good would come up from Soonyoung learning to drive. To be honest, he expected the damage to be material rather than the harsh twist he was feeling his whole soul go through, and him screaming by his parents’ window was an equally surprising outcome. He watched Soonyoung ignore his angry yelling and maneuver the car out of the garage driveway on the first floor, each of his movements increasing Wonwoo’s panic. Soonyoung could _not_ be leaving right now. 

Soon he had quit shouting, watching the car get smaller and smaller on the horizon. His throat was still burning lightly when he heard the bathroom door closing inside the house, the reality of his next hours a heavyweight over his shoulders.

“Where is Soonyoung?” Jun asked confused.

Wonwoo exhaled and finally turned into the living room. Across from him, Wen Junhui was standing by the end of the hall leading to the bathroom and sleeping area. He was looking at Wonwoo, puzzled, his fingers nervously interlocking into each other. Jun was wearing one of his big hoodies, casually, but his deep brown hair was as beautiful as always.

_This will be difficult_ , Wonwoo thought, facing the bright brown eyes he had avoided so much in the last months. 

“He left,” he finally replied, voice still frustratingly angry. “His mother called him saying there are rumors their town’s lockdown will begin sooner than they announced, and the stupid idiot did the last thing he should do.”

“Soonyoung went to his parents’ house without me?” Junhui asked incredulously, his eyes huge like tennis balls, desperation visibly reaching his mind. “He just left me here?”

Although he could sympathize with Jun’s fear—the source being very familiar to Wonwoo as well, unfortunately—, his palpable discomfort stung under Wonwoo’s skin.

“He’ll just get his clothes and his batch of kimchi and get back here soon,” Wonwoo tried to alleviate the situation, trying awfully hard not to think that—

“But if the city will get under lockdown earlier than they announcement... there is a chance he will get stuck there, he won’t get back… here.”

Wonwoo watched Jun’s puzzlement transform into realization, then transit to panic to finally settle in a rare demonstration of anger. It would be endearing to watch in different circumstances, but the dread of being alone with the other until at least his parents got back was too real for him to get lost in Jun.

Getting lost and losing control was the last thing Wonwoo could allow himself to do at the moment, but it was definitely what Jun was doing while screaming at Soonyoung through the phone.

“YOU GET YOUR ASS RIGHT BACK HERE, SOONYOUNG, IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES, OR I’LL TELL JIHOON EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID WITH HIS FIGURES THE LAST TIME YOU WENT TO HIS STUDIO UNSUPERVISED! I HAVE THE PICTURES TO PROVE!”

“DON’T YOU DARE, WEN JUNHUI!” Wonwoo could hear Soonyoung’s voice coming from Jun’s phone even from afar. Visibly too frustrated to hold his phone normally, Jun put him in speaker to channel his frustration doing wide gestures with his arms. “YOU FROM ALL PEOPLE SHOULD UNDERSTAND IT!”

“What should I understand? That you begged me to make you company in a drive, trick me saying there were no stops and we would be straight to get your mother’s kimchi just for you to abandon me here?”

_Well, this explains a lot_ , Wonwoo thought. The fact that Jun had willingly chosen to see him in the middle of their resting time had puzzled Wonwoo since the pair had showed up at his doorstep twenty minutes ago.

“Don’t say it like I just ditched you in the middle of the road! It’s Wonwoo’s house! What’s wrong with that?”

“What’s wrong with that?” Jun kicked the couch groaning, his anger surprising Wonwoo. “What’s wrong is that I was quiet playing my games, not bothering anyone in my room, and now I’m two hours away from Seoul! WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO NEVER LEAVE YOUR DAMN CAR!”

“You were the one who thought getting two large milk teas was a good i—”

“YOU SAID, ‘YOU’LL JUST BE PLAYING GAMES IN MY CAR INSTEAD. YOU WON’T EVEN NOTICE YOU’RE NOT IN YOUR ROOM.’”

“Oh, I can see that,” Wonwoo said without thinking, a smile taking over his lips.

Jun turned to him abruptly. Wonwoo thought maybe he had forgotten he wasn’t alone in the room, then the other pointed a finger towards him saying, “You! You don’t get a say in this!”

Wonwoo swallowed and shut up.

“You see, I’m not alone in thinking you’ve been spending too much time in your room,” Soonyoung said, a hint of his usual amusement coming through it. “Besides, it’ll be for just a couple of hours, I’ll be back soon.”

“But the lockdown—”

“Shh, Junnie, calm down! That’s why I couldn’t wait for you. I need to be as fast as possible, and right now you’re _slowing me down because I’m still driving_.”

“Soonyoung,” Jun had finally abandoned his anger and was now shamelessly begging. “You’re still close, please just turn around and—”

“No!” Soonyoung interrupted him fiercely. “You listen to me, Wen Junhui! I’m not spending god knows how long apart from my mom’s kimchi! You love your food, your snacks! You from all people should understand how impossible this situation is!”

To Wonwoo’s surprise, this silenced Jun, who seemed to be considering the reasoning.

“Soonyoung, you _must_ be back to get me as soon as possible.”

“Don’t worry, Junnie, just keep playing your games with Wonwoo, you won’t even notice I’m gone. Besides,” here Wonwoo could listen to Soonyoung smirking deviously over the line, “some time alone with Wonwoo will be good for the both of you.”

Jun gasped.

“I don’t know what you’re trying t—”

“Everyone has noticed you guys are weirder than usual around each other. We’re not stupid, you know. I gotta go.”

The call ended before Jun could recover to reply. He spared a glance at Wonwoo, panic meeting desperation in each other’s eyes, then stormed out of the room, slamming the same door he had come from minutes ago.

_Oh, this will be_ so _great,_ thought Wonwoo, hands covering his eyes, trying to soothe his frustration.

***

Wonwoo had been pretending to watch TV for twenty minutes or so when Jun emerged from the bathroom once again. Wonwoo had been trying to distract himself from thinking the prospect of spending some hours alone with him was enough to distress Jun in a way Wonwoo had never seen before, but the news channel was not helping. Between the heartbreak and facing the greatest global crisis of his living existence, Wonwoo’s brain chose to alternate from one to another in order to cope. He had been curled in a position that probably would lead to back pain later, cocooned in a nest of blankets, but sat upright when Jun entered the living room, looking flustered.

“I’m sorry I reacted that way,” he begun not meeting Wonwoo’s eyes and scratching his own nape. “All that has been going on lately… sometimes is a bit too much… I know it’s no excuse, but… I’m sorry.”

“I understand, you don’t have to worry about it,” Wonwoo replied quickly, not daring to speak more—he really wanted Jun to stay in the room, but the other had other plans.

“I’ll just…” he gestured to the hall behind him. “Can I stay in your room until Soonyoung comes back?”

“Sure, but you can wait here, we can watch something else, or play something,” Wonwoo tried to ignore the feeling of his heart cracking inside his chest, his tone getting a little desperate.

“No, I think… I think is better… You know…”

No one else would understand what Jun had just said—but what was a loss of words to others weighted meaning in every syllable to Wonwoo.

“Ok. You remember where it is, right?”

“Yes, everything here seems pretty much the same,” replied Jun, only comprehending his words a second too late.

He had come with Wonwoo to visit his parents two years ago, and this fact per se indicated a lot had changed.

Wonwoo watched Jun swallow hard and turn quickly towards the room they once shared for a weekend, no other word leaving his lips.

Numbed, Wonwoo got back to his cocoon, trying harder to pay attention at the imminent closure of borders and new safety measures on loop on the screen since he had turned the TV on. It had been a long time since he had felt his heart contracted like that, the burden almost unbearable in his chest. Probably that was one of the thousand perks of being part of a thirteen-members boy group—it’s usually too loud to actually hear yourself, especially the things you don’t want to hear.

Soonyoung couldn’t come back fast enough.

***

It was almost one hour later when he heard his phone buzzing on the couch, somewhere above his head. Wonwoo was slowing moving to retrieve it when Jun’s scream (“Soonyoung!”) quickened his movement. He unlocked his screen to find out Soonyoung had sent him and Jun a message:

**Not a Tiger:**

_Couldn’t beat the lockdown in the end ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_

_But the kimchi is safe!_

_I’m staying with my parents. See you guys in fourteen days (or more?)!_

He also could see the three dots blinking on the top of the screen indicating Jun was typing. Wonwoo watched the dots disappear and reappear for a second until he decided to go check it himself.

He found the other was sitting at the edge of Wonwoo’s bed, furiously typing.

“No need to fight him, my parents are coming back from my aunt’s house. When they get here, I can take the car and take you to the station. You’ll be home tonight.”

Jun stopped typing, turning his screen off and flipping the phone to his side at the bed.

“The station,” he exhaled frustrated, resting his face on his hands, deepening his fingers on the roots of his hair. “The best place to be right now is the station.”

Wonwoo moved uncomfortably by the doorstep.

“I can drive you back tomorrow morning, then. You don’t need to worry.”

Jun looked at him incredulously.

“You are not driving to Seoul just to take me home,” his voice was final and so not Jun Wonwoo got a little confused.

“I’ll not put you in danger or make you stay in a place you clearly don’t—”

“Do _you_ want me here, Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo froze. There were many ways he could phrase ‘want’ and ‘Jun’ candidly, and, ‘Yes, I want you to stay here with me, away from everyone else,’ was definitely one of them, but never— _never_ —if Jun didn’t want to either.

His phone buzzed before he could answer.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said.

“Of course it matters!”

“No, it doesn’t!” He showed his screen to Jun, the government shelter-in-place order on display. “My parents can’t come back to town, and we can’t get out. We’re under lockdown.”

On the screen was the Emergency Alert sent by the local authorities, and Wonwoo could see Jun paling when he read the two sentences that impacted them the most:

_*Where you stay tonight_ _is where YOU MUST stay from now on._

_*You must be only in physical contact with those you are living with._

Jun’s eyes widened in panic—a feeling Wonwoo could sense throughout his body.

***

Jun talked to their manager while Wonwoo called his mother. She was relieved Jun was there as well, otherwise, she was certain Wonwoo would starve. ‘ _Fate is just something else, don’t you think, my son?_ ’, she had said, and Wonwoo quickly changed the subject. She assured him they had enough provisions in the pantry since the speculation of a lockdown had been pretty heavy since the previous week. Wonwoo was relieved to know his parents were safe and well taken care of at his aunt’s.

Their managers, though, were pissed. They were strongly encouraged to not let their current lockdown living status become public. Fortunately, Soonyoung had already taken responsibility for the whole situation (not the virus thing—the kimchi thing), and Jun wasn’t in any kind of trouble. (Wonwoo was exactly where he was supposed—and allowed—to be.)

“I don’t have any clothes!” Jun realized after the call ended.

“We wear the same size,” provided Wonwoo. Although sharing clothes was part of their routine as a group, Wonwoo had noticed he and Jun had been avoiding it lately—unconsciously or deliberated, he wasn’t sure.

“Can I stay in your parents’ bedroom? Is that ok?” Jun was barely managing to hide his pain. 

“Of course. I’ll put some clothes aside for you, or you can just go to my room and grab whatever you want.”

“Just give me something to sleep on tonight, we can handle this tomorrow,” Jun replied, avoiding his eyes. “I’ll go lay down if you don’t mind?”

“You really don’t have to ask me anything. Just do whatever you want, really,” Wonwoo tried to reassure him as best as he could.

“Thanks,” Jun bowed his head slightly, still not looking at him.

Wonwoo had then set aside some clothes for him, and Jun had retreat himself to what now was his new bedroom for at least fourteen days. He didn’t come back to eat anything, and Wonwoo wasn’t brave enough to call him to have dinner. He ate a sandwich, watched some more depressing news about the world falling apart until he couldn’t take it anymore and went to bed.

It was a funny thing, he noticed, how just yesterday he felt his bed cozy and welcoming, but now the blankets didn’t seem to be working properly.

_It’s like the cold is coming from inside me_ , he realized, aware that having Jun on the other room just brought back memories of the nights he hadn’t slept alone.

To be honest, he thought about those a lot, but tonight, tonight one memory, in particular, he couldn’t put aside.

_Wonwoo remembered they were on his bed, at the bottom of the bunk bed they shared at the time. He remembered it was common for them to exchange beds sometimes, or even to not bother sleeping separated—that was a time they had made a habit from talking side by side, under the blankets, before sleeping. This memory was one of the latter._

_He remembered they were giggling because of something silly. Wonwoo didn’t recall what it was, but Jun’s smile was carved on his memory, the one that reached his eyes, bringing brightness and pureness with it. Jun was leaning slightly over him, his right arm supporting him while Wonwoo laid completely on the bed. Maybe they were in a high of sugar and tiresome, Wonwoo wasn’t sure, and then Jun said something funny—he would never admit that ninety percent of everything Jun said was funny—and they both couldn’t stop laughing._

_He remembered Jun was laughing so much his head was getting closer and closer to Wonwoo’s chest, then his face. And when he thought they had finally stopped laughing, a smile still on their lips, Jun reached over and pecked his lips._

_Then he burst laughing again, they both did. Jun would peck him again, and they would laugh silly once more. Jun continued kissing him and laughing until Wonwoo was the one initiating the pecking. Maybe his was a bit longer, with a bit more pressure._

_He remembered they didn’t laugh any more after it, but it didn’t get awkward either. Jun had smiled, said “Good night, Wonwoo,” and nested himself by Wonwoo’s side. Wonwoo had slept turned towards him, his right arm resting on Jun’s waist._

Wonwoo remembered it was warm, way warmer than he was feeling at the moment. 

But he couldn’t complain, really. He knew too well the reason everything had changed was his own fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> This fic is 75% done, which means everything is safe until chapter 3, and I hope to post weekly. Fingers crossed!  
> Kudos and comments are much, much appreciated! I'd love to hear what you're thinking so far :)  
> Find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/keepcaratin) for fic updates and lots of wonhui.  
> Is there anything you want to see wonhui doing under lockdown? Let me know on my [CC](https://curiouscat.me/keepcaratin)!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone,  
> I considered skipping this week's update, but personally fanfics are playing a major role in keeping me sane, so maybe this can help you at least for a bit if you need.
> 
> Warning: this fic has as much angst as it has... smut =O
> 
> As usual, I couldn't have written any of this without my beta.

Wonwoo waked up the next morning with the imposing sunshine challenging his curtains. His phone informed him it was way past noon—he didn’t remember the last time he had slept more than ten hours.

As he got up, his mind caught up with the memories of the previous day, making him groan. He was sharing a home with Jun for the foreseeable future, and the perspective was everything he most wanted and most dreaded at the same time. Wonwoo exhaled deeply and, summing his courage, left his bedroom.

As soon as he entered the open living room, which had an attached kitchen, a strong smell of seasoning reached his nostrils—by the stove was Jun, a spoon in hand. He seemed to be swinging by some imaginary song, but when Wonwoo got closer, he could see his lips were moving, a melody of some sort leaving his lips.

“Good morning,” he greeted.

Jun jumped. “Oh, god!” He put his hand over his heart, startled. “You scared me!” He stirred the contents in the pot. “And it’s afternoon already.”

“Hum… sorry about that,” Wonwoo tried to apologize; he was Jun’s host after all.

“No problem. We are never able to sleep late, so you should enjoy it. Besides,” Jun rested the spoon by the counter, not looking at Wonwoo. “Your mother texted me with pantry instructions. She seems very certain you wouldn’t survive by yourself.”

Wonwoo blinked, confused.

“My mother texted you?”

Jun snorted. “Don’t tell me my mother doesn’t have your number as well.”

Well, Wonwoo couldn’t argue with that, but he hadn’t received any texts lately.

“Did you tell her you are here?”

Jun grimaced, still engrossed with the ingredients.

“No, not yet,” his tone was final. “It’ll be ready in ten minutes.”

“Oh, ok,” Wonwoo stepped away from him. It was hard to admit to himself his presence made Jun so uncomfortable, and their new loneliness made it more apparent. He set the table ready, and they ate together when the food was ready.

Wonwoo was washing the dishes, his mind settling on going to his room and hide their gaming for as long as possible. It was only fair—this wasn’t Jun’s house, there was nothing of his here, he should at least have the TV and living room to himself—and all the Wonwoo-free space he wanted to have, honestly.

He was almost done when the felt a finger on his jaw.

Wonwoo froze, slowly looking at the direction of the finger’s owner. Jun’s eyes were fixated at his jawline, and his finger was now lightly moving from side to side.

“You have a stubble,” he said curiously. “I don’t remember ever…”

“Hum…” Wonwoo swallowed. “Yeah, I usually need to shave almost every day.”

“Um,” Jun frowned, still intrigued.

The light touch by his jaw was making Wonwoo too aware that Jun’s finger was close to his mouth. Too close. All he could think about was that, at other times, simpler times, he could just turn his head fast and enclosure the finger within his lips. Jun would probably laugh, and Wonwoo was sure only good things would come up from it—definitely some kissing, probably something else. His mind was just registering how close they were when Jun retrieved his finger hastily, stepping away like he had been shocked.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what… I don’t know why…” he said, embarrassed. He was now blushing, avoiding Wonwoo’s eyes again and hiding his hands behind himself.

“It’s not a problem, don’t worry,” Wonwoo rushed to say, getting back to finish washing the dishes as quickly as possible, before the words _You know you can touch me all you want_ left his lips.

“It’s good for your skin, you know… not to shave it now. It must be… I mean, to shave it so regularly… it must hurt or something. But I know you take good care of your face, obviously. N-not that it’s obvious t-to me, no, I mean, to Carats. Carats like your face. Not that I don’t, it’s just…” Jun was babbling, and by each phrase, he stepped away from Wonwoo, horrified by his own words.

“I’ll be in my room playing some game if you need anything,” Wonwoo interrupted to make him stop. “Anything from the house. Unless…” He stopped, Jun’s expectant wide eyes stopping the logic from flowing to his brain. He gulped, and run passing through Jun to hide in his bedroom. Closing the door behind him, Wonwoo exhaled, relieved for being alone.

Unfortunately, his relief lasted only until he noticed his semi. If he couldn’t handle Jun’s finger touching his face for a second before getting horny, how in hell he would survive at least more thirteen days?

***

Wonwoo managed not seeing Jun for the next three days. Avoidance was his answer. He kept playing during the oddest hours, slept most of the day, got out of his bedroom just to go to the bathroom and to get food—food Jun had been cooking and leaving a plate ready for him in the fridge. It tasted heavily like guilt in Wonwoo’s mouth.

Unfortunately for Wonwoo—very unfortunately—everything changed when he left his room on the third day of avoidance.

Once again he had woken up in the afternoon. Disoriented, he left his bedroom still half-sleep, his bladder and stomach tired of being neglected. He had foregone having dinner the night before, certain Jun would be spread on the living room couch, and Wonwoo would probably say something stupid, like how much he wanted to feel Jun’s skin again.

As soon as he got to the hall, he could hear Jun singing in the bathroom, along with the water from the shower hitting the floor, so it was clear he wouldn’t be able to relieve himself just yet. He considered going back to his bedroom, until Jun got to Wonwoo’s part of the song— _I wanted to be your tomorrow, so I lived today_ —and something in his voice made Wonwoo stop. He felt himself being pulled towards the bathroom door until he was so close and entranced by the voice he decided to lean on the wall next to it and enjoy the moment. It felt safe. He could hear Jun’s voice with no risk of saying something potentially risky. He closed his eyes and let the sounds infiltrate his mind. 

Suddenly, Jun’s voice stopped, although the water was still cascading on the floor.

Wonwoo frowned. Why Jun had stopped before ending the song? One of the reasons Wonwoo had conceded to stay and listen was that he could pretend, even just for a second under his closed eyes, that they were roommates on a tour again. Jun loved singing “Thanks” on the shower, he did it all the time, so often Wonwoo kind of wanted him to change playlists sometimes. Now he realized he missed it.

He was still there by the door, trying to listen whether Jun had decided to sing it really low when he heard it, the infamous sound. It was unmistakable, and if Wonwoo had any doubts he had just heard Jun _moaning_ , he heard it again, maybe a bit muffled, but certainly there. He gasped, aware his cock had heard it at the same time his ears and was already sending images—memories—of water running down Jun’s body, his hair wet, drops falling from it and meeting his eyelashes, his lips—Wonwoo wanted to lick the water…

He opened his eyes, stopping the fantasy to take place on his brain. He realized, in complete horror, that he was already hard. Considerably. His brain was frozen in panic when another moan (‘ _Won-ahhh!_ ’) acted like an electric current sending him running to his bedroom.

As soon as the door closed, Wonwoo threw himself on the bed, face down. How had he let this happen? How he allowed Jun’s moans to re-enter his mind, the sound repeating over and over inside his brain? Resigned, he pressed a hand on his hard-on, the sensation too good for him to suppress a hissing. He had been avoiding taking care of _things_ , the fact the main character of his fantasies—and memories—was in the room next door elevating things to a new level, but now he regretted it. There was absolutely no way he could ignore his current situation, and his brain was summing up all the right memory materials to prevent him from doing it. He rolled over, shoved his hand inside his pants, and closed his eyes. 

_The remembrance of his fingers touching Jun's wet skin, feeling goosebumps forming in the other’s body following the path his fingers and lips were tracing begun to take control of Wonwoo’s mind. It was one of these times they were roommates away from home, and their intimacy had grown way beyond silly kisses among giggles. It was their first time in the shower, though. Wonwoo had mixed feelings about the doing in the shower thing, he realized. On one hand, he was cold all over from being the one not under the hot water at the moment, on the other, he felt all his insides warm from being so close of a wet Junhui. Wonwoo’s hand found Jun’s left nipple, earning a moan inside their kiss, and Wonwoo decided being cold was worth it. While his hand continued traveling down, his lips never left Jun's. He remembered one of Jun's hands was grabbing firmly his wet hair, while he felt the other shyly descending from his hip to Wonwoo’s buttocks. When Jun grabbed his ass more adventurously, Wonwoo laughed softly into their kiss, a smile blossoming on Jun’s lips as well._

_"You don't like it?" he had asked._

_"Oh, I like it," Wonwoo had replied smugly._

_Jun pressed harder and kissed him again, at the same time Wonwoo’s hand was about to encircle Jun's—_

"Hey, can I come in?" Wonwoo heard a knock on the door. Not the bathroom door of his memory, but his bedroom door, in the very present of his lifetime. His hand froze down his pants, his cock certainly hard and leaking, and tried to think on how to not die of embarrassment in this situation. "Wonwoo?" Jun's voice asked through the door. 

"One second!" he shouted out. “Shit!” Quickly, he retrieved his hand from his pants and grabbed a pillow to cover his evident 'problem.' In an impetus, he stood up from the bed and yelled for Jun to come in.

The second the door opened, Wonwoo questioned why he hadn’t come up with any lame excuse that could prevent the obvious disastrous upcoming situation, because, yes, Wen Junhui was naked and wet in front of him. Ok, almost naked—a towel was hanging loosely from his hips. For a second, Wonwoo couldn’t take his eyes off Jun’s bare chest, the water still sliding down his smooth skin, from his collarbone, passing his nipples, and speeding up down his lightly defined abs.

“Do you have more underwear that I can borrow?” Jun’s voice prompted him to find the other’s eyes. “I’ve already used the ones you got me,” Jun was looking expectant at him, no apparent clue on the effect he was having on Wonwoo.

“Oh, sure,” Wonwoo replied, going to check his dresser, the pillow still covering his crotch. He had decided that being weird for a minute was better than being a perv, hence, the pillow was staying. Unfortunately, as soon as he opened the drawer just to find it empty, he remembered he was supposed to stay at his parent’s house for just a week, and a week of underwear split between two guys was nothing, really.

He was suddenly extremely pleased he hadn’t ruined the pair he had on at the moment.

“Hum…” he turned to inform Jun. “I think we’ll have to do some laundry.”

***

They gathered all their dirty clothes and figured how to use the washing machine. Jun had put on some sweatpants and a hoodie, and Wonwoo was working very hard on _not_ to think about it—especially because, after deciding they should wash as many underwear as possible, he had taken off the one he was wearing (which, honestly, was dirty already…) and was also only in sweatpants. For some reason, Wonwoo had always thought sweatpants were kinda hot, so actually his only option to stop making a fool of himself carrying the fucking pillow around was to excuse himself to take a shower while the clothes were being washed. Hoping his business wasn’t obvious, he didn’t have the courage to look at Jun at the time.

However, if suspicious of anything, Jun said nothing, and in silence, they sorted and folded the clothes together after the dryer had finished its cycle. Wonwoo was still avoiding looking at him, but Jun’s presence had always acted like a magnet on him, and now was no different. His eyes kept glancing at Jun’s hands diligently folding by his side, even if he didn’t know what he wanted from it. Wonwoo was redirecting his focus to his own folding for the third time already when something made him stop—Jun had slowed his movements to flatten a T-shirt, allowing Wonwoo to have a better look at his hands for the first time. They were visibly dry, some cracks obviously present by his fingers. Wonwoo dropped the shirt he had been folding and took Jun’s hands in his, bringing them closer to his eyes. Now he could see the real damage, the obvious dehydration the skin was suffering.

“Junnie…,” he exhaled sadly. “You could have said something, my mother has tons of lotions…”

“I-I couldn’t find any…”

The hesitation in Jun’s voice brought him back to reality. Self-consciously, he realized they had been holding hands for too long now, and suddenly he could feel the sweat in his hands, the goosebumps traveling up his arms.

Wonwoo also felt something within him, something different from the usual longing the distance between him and Jun caused. He felt the warmth of Jun’s skin in contrast to a sudden coldness he could feel throughout his whole body, making him realize no human being had touched him in the last four days. Wonwoo had no memory if this had ever happened to him before since he lived with a bunch of clingy guys.

However, this was Jun, and everything had always been different between them.

He finally looked up to meet Jun’s eyes to find a bit of panic, for sure, but he also thought he could see hesitation as if Jun couldn’t decide whether he wanted to retreat his hands or not.

Wonwoo let go quickly, cleaning his throat.

“Come on, I’ll show you where mom keeps it,” he said, doing his best to pretend nothing weird had just happened.

Jun followed him to the bathroom and Wonwoo showed him where his mother’s kept her set of lotions. He took one randomly, and ignoring his brain screaming at him that he should just _show_ Jun where it was, he opened the cap and put some on his palm. Then, avoiding Jun’s eyes again, he took his hands and spread the cold lotion carefully on Jun’s skin. “Try to use it always after washing your hands,” he said, trying to pretend his heart wasn’t about to crack his hip cage. “In fact, you know you don’t have to wash your hands so much, right? We haven’t left the house or even received any packages or anything.”

“I know…,” Jun replied quickly, his voice weak, almost a whisper. “It’s just… I can’t really…”

“I know,” Wonwoo stopped Jun’s struggle, pressing lightly Jun’s hands. Neither wanted to talk about it, but they knew what was happening. His eyes met Jun’s again. “I understand. Just use the lotion when you have to.”

“I will,” Jun promised.

They had been staring for too long when Wonwoo noticed he was still holding Jun’s hands. For the second time in less than ten minutes, he let them go, embarrassed.

“I’ll take the clothes to my room and play for a while, I’m sorry,” he said, already turning to leave the bathroom, even if he didn’t know what he could be sorry for.

“Wonwoo, wait,” he felt Jun grabbing his arm. “Do you really have to play in your room?”

Wonwoo turned and looked at him, pained.

“I know you don’t want to be here,” he said hesitantly. “So the least I can do is give you some space.”

“I don’t want any space,” Jun said too quickly. Absorbing his own words, he closed his eyes tightly for a brief second, then corrected himself. “I mean, we are alone here for god knows how long… I’ll go crazy if I spent another day without seeing you—I mean, without seeing another person.”

Wonwoo stared at him, foolish trying to gather what Jun really meant—was there any chance Jun wanted to see _him_ more? He himself was really making a great effort on avoiding Jun, fighting against his every yearning. Despite that, Wonwoo was already feeling a sense of unhealthy wilderness crawling into the deep of his mind. Neither of them was used to stay this long with no soul around them.

“Yeah, me too,” Wonwoo agreed, piercing Jun’s eyes with all the meaning he could convey. His cock was already recovering inside his sweatpants—he needed to find the most uncomfortable underwear as soon as possible.

“So, hum, maybe we should… have meals together? Not breakfast, of course, I know you like sleeping in,” Jun was doing his best to, at the same time, look at Wonwoo without looking at him. Wonwoo had no idea how he did that. “I read it’s good to have some kind of routine in situations like this?”

“It sounds good,” Wonwoo agreed fast. Soon, the guilt of the previous days got to him. “I’m sorry I didn’t eat with you the other days. I really appreciate your food.”

Jun chuckled. “I only kept some to you because your mother specifically asked me to, don’t flatter yourself,” he dismissed, shyness all gone.

 _Never fall with a Gemini who happens to be a successful childhood actor_ , Wonwoo thought, resigned. _You will live in confusion and never know what’s going on._

“I’ll see you at dinner,” and, just like that, Jun turned and left.

***

Late that night, after spending five hours shooting virtual guys and trying to forget how dinner had been the most awkward meal of his life (and that included the cursed time Soonyoung spent the whole lunch explaining to Jihoon how it was natural to have a boner during practice, all through an embarrassing analogy involving vegetables), Wonwoo laid heavily on his bed, feeling defeated but, mostly, missing simpler times.

He remembered how it was always easy to be by Jun’s side. When their silence was comfortable instead of excruciating, peaceful, and not a ghost of a knot forming in his throat.

For some reason, the TV had been off during dinner, neither of them was on their phones, and the sound of cutlery had resonated ten times higher inside Wonwoo’s ears. They didn’t talk, they didn’t look at each other, and yet Wonwoo knew of Jun’s every movement. He ate quickly, took care of the dishes even quicker, and was about to hide in his room once again when Jun called him.

Wonwoo stood by the hall, watching Jun getting closer by each step. He stopped right in front of Wonwoo and said, “ _We could do this sometimes, if you don’t mind_.” Before Wonwoo could understand what _this_ meant, Jun’s arms were involving his torso, finding their place on his back. Wonwoo’s arms followed, flattening over Jun’s scapulas. He didn’t know what was happening, but his mind couldn’t care less over his ignorance—instinctively, he buried his face in Jun’s neck, his eyes closed, all his cells focused on Jun’s warmth.

It obviously ended too soon. It would always be too soon.

If he felt any sort of relief during their brief hug, it all vanished when Jun spared him a confused, scared look and walked so fast to his bedroom he was almost running, the _thud_ of the door closing spreading coldness throughout Wonwoo’s body.

The only thing that could erase the feeling of rejection—not new to him—were older recollections.

Of times when Jun’s warmth was a constant and not an oddity, when they were so close their boundaries mingled, when being by each other’s side was the definition of comfort.

He closed his eyes and evoked the memory of the first night they had shared a hotel room after kissing each other had become a habit.

_Wonwoo was on his bed and the lights were already off. He remembered being tired from the scheduled that day, but he didn’t remember what it had been. Suddenly, he felt a surprising weight on his bed, then Jun getting under the blankets by his side._

_“Hey, you’re naked!” Wonwoo exclaimed after his knuckles found Jun’s smooth skin under the blankets._

_“Of course, you know I always sleep naked,” Jun chuckled. Wonwoo felt he moving in the bed, and then his nightstand lamp was on, reflecting on Jun’s tanned back and light pink hair before he got comfortable facing Wonwoo again._

_“Yeah, but not when we sleep together,” Wonwoo noted. He should shut the damn up, really, and just enjoy what the hell was going on._

_“Do you want me to put on some clothes?”_

_“No, I don’t mind it,” Wonwoo rushed to explain. They had been casually making out for some time now, and he had learned to appreciate every rare opportunity they could find to kiss each other privately. Now, they were alone in a room, and nothing screamed ‘opportunity’ more than that._

_“Good,” Jun smirked, the lamplight shadowing his features. “Because I was wondering.”_

_“You were wondering,” Wonwoo raised a single eyebrow, amused._

_“Yeah,” Jun reached to touch Wonwoo’s shirt, his hand sliding casually down his chest. “That today you could sleep naked as well. If you want to.”_

_Wonwoo held his breath. He was certain on what Jun was implying, and his stomach was thrilled in anticipation._

_“Hum,” he smirked. “It sounds like a great idea.”_

_“Really?” Jun asked for confirmation, a sassy smile already on his lips._

_“Really,” Wonwoo reassured him, leaning on to catch Jun’s lips on his. His hand sled by Jun’s side, feeling his lower back, then down his buttocks. Wonwoo stopped there, kindly groping it, while they kissed deeply, but at a very slow pace. He could feel this time would be different, and not only because they finally had privacy for a whole night._

_At some point, Jun’s hand had found the hem of his shirt, lifting it above Wonwoo’s head, their lips parting. Jun’s fingers then caressed his chest lightly, dropping to Wonwoo’s still inexistent abs, passing his belly button, and finding the trail of hair that disappeared down Wonwoo’s trousers. His finger hooked on his waistband, pulling it down along with Wonwoo’s underwear. His other hand came to help him, and Wonwoo as well maneuvered his body to get rid of his last piece of clothing._

_“I like how hairy you are,” Jun whispered, his hand caressing Wonwoo tight. They had seen each other naked several times, at the most different occasions, but never alone, never this long, never completely._

_“Your hair is all thinner than mine, but your body is all… bigger,” Wonwoo blushed, self-consciously. He didn’t need to be more specific—Jun was aware he felt uncomfortable wearing sleeveless clothes and such._

_Wonwoo felt a finger lifting his chin. He looked up and faced Jun’s intense eyes. “You’re beautiful,” was all he said, his voice strong and resolute, slightly out of breath. He took Wonwoo’s hand and moved it towards his groin, at the same time his lips brushed Wonwoo’s again. Wonwoo gasped when his hand found Jun’s hard cock. “You made this,” Jun told his lips, “all of it.”_

_Wonwoo groaned, then captured Jun’s lips fiercely, his hand groping Jun’s cock and balls. Gradually, Wonwoo adjusted his hand to encircle Jun properly, his thumb kindly teasing Jun’s slit. Jun moaned inside his mouth._

_“Let me—_ ah _—let me touch you too,” Jun pleaded out of breath._

_Wonwoo moved a little to give him space to access his aching cock. When Jun’s hand encircled him, both moaned—Wonwoo felt the fingers getting to know him, Jun’s grip quickly tightening around him, following Wonwoo’s pace instantly. Wonwoo’s head fell on Jun’s shoulder, the overwhelming pleasure fogging his senses. He felt Jun’s left leg encircle his waist, bringing their bodies even closer, the chuckles of their hands bumping against each other._

_It wasn’t the most convenient position, but Wonwoo was certain neither of them cared about it, not even for a second. Soon, Jun’s lips were desperately searching for his skin, on his neck, nibbling at his collarbone, biting his back shoulder, leaving a trace of his saliva on Wonwoo’s body that somehow only enhanced all he was already feeling._

_“Wonwoo,” Jun called weakly._

_Wonwoo raised his head from Jun’s shoulder slowly. He was out of breath, his hair was all over the place, and he was making the most embarrassing sounds, but all self-consciousness he had got lost in the want on Jun’s eyes. He got closer to Jun, and the side of their noses touched just enough for them to feel each other breathing before embarking on a fierce kiss, their tongues interlaced. Their hands got clumsier on their movements, but a second after Wonwoo nipped Jun’s lower lip, he came, holding Wonwoo tighter during his spasms, his hand wavering, but never leaving Wonwoo’s cock. Wonwoo could feel he was close now, the sight of Jun’s mouth agape in pleasure during his orgasm setting him over the edge._

_“I’m going to take care of you now,” Jun whispered, serious, not a trace of a smirk on his face. He embraced Wonwoo’s body tighter with his leg and brought his arm to held him even closer. While his right hand thrusted Wonwoo’s cock, probably very uncomfortably, Jun’s lips and teeth were over his collarbone. In no time, Wonwoo spilled all over themselves, eyes closed and burying his head on Jun’s shoulder again, muffling his moans, but not controlling the spams taking over his whole body._

_They remained in each other’s arms, regaining their breaths in silence. Wonwoo’s heartbeat was close to a normal rate when he felt Jun’s fingers lazily tracing random patterns on his chest._

_“Well,” the other said, supporting himself on his elbow to properly give Wonwoo a smirk. “That was_ really _fun.”_

_Wonwoo copied his smile, and they fell on an easy laughter._

_Wonwoo remembered that they had cleaned themselves and Jun had slept on his arms, their legs intertwined, skin on skin, truly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!   
> Kudos and comments are much appreciated. I've been on the slow side on replies (my energy and focus are very low and I'm focusing on writing chapter 4), but every comment motivates me A LOT and is very dear to me. Thank you <3  
>    
> If you prefer, my DMs are open on [twitter](https://twitter.com/keepcaratin).  
> Is there anything you want to see wonhui doing under lockdown? Let me know on my [CC](https://curiouscat.me/keepcaratin)
> 
> I won't be updating about new chapters on Twitter for now, so I recommend subscribing to my profile or to this fic here in AO3 (although I'm not sure if AO3 email notifications are working at the moment :[ )


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: this fic was almost called "Lie Again". My beta convinced me I was capable of writing this level of angst again, so I hope to be honoring one of my favorite songs in the future.

Wonwoo woke up feeling particularly disoriented. His phone informed him it was a bit after 1 PM, so he still could keep his promise to have lunch with Jun. After refreshing himself in the bathroom and feeling a bit more awake, a strange sound coming from somewhere in the house caught his attention. He stopped by the bathroom door for a second, concluding the short, rhythmical, metallic noise was coming from the living room.

The scene he found there increased his puzzlement. Wen Junhui was sitting on the floor, and in front of him was a peculiar set of objects—three pots facing down the floor, a plastic cup, and a ping pong ball. Jun’s phone was arranged in front of the objects, and Wonwoo inferred it probably was recording whatever Jun was doing with the pots. Wonwoo was still silently observing when Jun grabbed the tiny ball lying close to the cup and bounced it on the floor, right in the spot surrounded by all pots. He watched, mesmerized, the ball hit one pot, then travel to hit the other, then hit the third right in the middle, and finally direct itself towards the plastic cup. He held his breath in anticipation, but sadly, the tiny ball hit the spot about four centimeters from the cup’s edge.

“Wow, that was close,” he commented, forgetting Jun didn’t know he was watching.

Jun turned quickly to him, his surprise converting into a smile.

“I managed to hit the edge a while ago.”

“How long have you been doing this?” Wonwoo asked. It was such a Junhui thing that nothing in that scenario seemed odd anymore.

“A while. I paused it to make lunch, though. Do you want to eat?”

“Yeah, sure,” Wonwoo replied, happy to have a normal conversation with Jun. “Can I try it later?” he pointed at the pots display.

“Sure!” Jun grinned standing up and heading to the kitchen. Wonwoo followed him.

Jun heated the food and they sat at the dining table. The scenery was too similar to their last meal together, and Wonwoo was certain he didn’t want a repeat of that—he wanted to prolong normal, common-ground conversation as much as possible.

“So,” he collected himself to make an effort. “I should have asked you this before, but I gather you have a charger with you? Do you need anything else?”

“Oh,” Jun said before chewing enough to reply to him. “I came with everything I needed,” he raised his right hand and counted with his fingers, still holding his chopstick. “I bought my phone, my wallet, and my charger. Really, who needs anything else?” he joked.

Wonwoo laughed along, even though he felt a pressure on his heart.

“But seriously, there is nothing else you need? I know I should have asked these days ago…”

“No worries,” Jun rushed to reassure him. “I found a new toothbrush in the bathroom cabinet, you lend me some clothes, it’s fine, I’ve found everything I needed,” he lowered his eyes to his food in the last part. Wonwoo could feel the uneasiness approaching.

“I know you’d rather be at the dorm, but—”

“Would you prefer your parents were here?” Jun cut his question.

Wonwoo considered it. He missed his parents, and he had that rare free week to spend with them, but having some time alone with Jun was at least tempting at the same level. It was painful, sure, but he had been Jun-starved for too long now to simply dismiss any chance of contact. He couldn’t say any of this to Jun, though.

“Anyway,” he dodged it. “Please let me know if you need anything else, ok?”

Jun stared him at for a second, certainly taken in Wonwoo’s dismissal, then turned his attention to his food again.

“You don’t have to worry. Your mother has told me everything already. She anticipated everything I might need,” Jun laughed. “It was kind of scary.”

Wonwoo smiled. “She really thinks I’m a terrible host, doesn’t she?” he didn’t even try to be offended. “I think she has talked to you more than me. How come your mother hasn’t called me once?”

Jun took his time chewing his food, eyes away from Wonwoo.

“I told her not to.”

“Why?” Wonwoo was confused.

“Didn’t want to bother you.”

“Bother? We have nothing to do besides waiting.”

“You seem to be pretty busy.”

Wonwoo frowned. Had he caught something on Jun’s tone? Something like _resentment_?

“I told you yesterday, I thought you wanted some space, so I gave it to you.”

“Fine,” Jun’s voice was harsh.

Wonwoo watched him eating for a minute, then focused on his own ramen. He was confused—it wasn’t the first time he couldn’t comprehend what Jun really wanted. On one hand, he seemed to want to have Wonwoo around; on the other, in the last weeks, they both had placed as much distance as possible between each other. It was probably some side-effect of the isolation, Wonwoo concluded. Then, he realized he was too weak, too selfish to not enjoy Jun wanting to spend time with him again—he missed it all too much. But for that to happen, and also to avoid any more unnecessary pain, he would have to put some effort into their interactions.

“How did you come up with the pots thing?” he changed the subject.

Jun raised his head fast, suspicion clear in his eyes. Wonwoo swallowed.

“I saw it on Weibo. I don’t know where it came from.”

“Humm…” Wonwoo said lamely. When it had become so difficult to talk to Jun, from all people? “Are there any other videos you want to try?”

Jun bit his lip in thought (Wonwoo held his breath). Then, coming to a decision, he got his phone and passed it to Wonwoo.

“I have a lockdown fun folder,” he showed Wonwoo. (Wonwoo thought he saw another folder named “WW”, but it was too fast to be sure.) “I’m collecting here some funny videos people have been posting. Like these two doing groceries wearing T-rex costumes,” he played the video and they laughed. “But there are some we could do ourselves. Like this one,” he tapped play and a road with passing cars appeared. A hand inside a sock was by the right corner, an eye drawn on its left upper side. When the cars were about to reach the socky-hand, the fingers separated from the thumb, creating the illusion a mouth was eating the cars. It was so silly Wonwoo smiled. “I wish we could do this one,” in front a TV showing a Teacups ride in an amusement park, someone was holding a regular cup while another person spun a cat behind the cup. Wonwoo laughed.

“Cute,” he said smiling. “I wish we had a cat.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jun agreed. He proceeded to browse his saved videos.

Wonwoo turned his gaze to him, losing his thoughts on cats and Wen Junhui.

They finished eating and neglected doing the dishes to play the pots-pong game. Wonwoo didn’t play any PC games the whole day.

***

It was late at night when he decided to call it a day, after spending some time talking to Carats online. He and Jun had spent most of the day together, then separated after diner with another awkward hug. Despite that, Wonwoo considered that to have been an enjoyable day—and it had been, until he heard some sobbing coming from the living room when he was leaving the bathroom, right before going to bed. Wonwoo hesitated in the hallway for a second, wondering if he had imagined the sound, or whether he should act like it had been real. A second sob followed by some sniffing came as confirmation, and also as the necessary force to lead his legs to check upon it.

Wonwoo found Jun squeezed in a fetal position on the couch. His hoodie was over his head, and although Wonwoo could only see his back, it was visible beyond hearing that he was crying. Cautiously, he got closer and sat on the floor by the couch, reaching his hand towards Jun’s back.

“Junnie,” he called, his voice way more concerned than he expected. His hand felt Jun startlement, followed by him shrinking even more. “What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing,” Jun sniffed. “Seriously, just go to bed already.”

Wonwoo sighed.

“We both know you are stubborn than me, usually, but not when you are the one suffering. So, please, tell me why you’re crying. Did I do something wrong?”

Following some seconds of silence, Jun turned his body towards Wonwoo, still not looking at him.

“You did nothing,” he began, uncertain. Wonwoo couldn’t refrain himself from caressing Jun’s bangs aside. “It’s just, ah,” he sighed. “I can’t sleep. It has been days now, even before I came here. It’s frustrating, that’s all. I’m tired.”

“Junnie,” Wonwoo said tenderly, his fingers descending to Jun’s cheek. He felt the other leaning into his touch a little, a hint of hope accompanying Wonwoo’s longing.

“I’ve tried everything!” he hit his own head with his hands in frustration, finally looking at Wonwoo. He had baggy eyes, and Wonwoo cursed himself for not noticing it before. “Everything that my mom suggested, everything the Internet said, everything. I tried to follow a routine, looking into the sun, exercising,” he grimaced, “having tea before sleeping, everything!”

Wonwoo was silent. He continued to caress Jun, but his mind was racing. It wasn’t the first time the other had problems to sleep. Although it never lasted this much, as far as Wonwoo was aware, it usually happened the night before their comebacks. And Wonwoo remembered too well how he helped Jun on these times. Now he just needed to conclude whether he should bring the solution up or not—especially whether it made him a gigantic human garbage.

But Jun’s lashes and cheeks were still wet from his tears, and Wonwoo’s heart had never been strong, anyway, when Jun was concerned.

“You didn’t try everything,” he dared to whisper.

Jun froze, slowly turning his eyes to Wonwoo’s.

“You don’t have to do this,” he said weakly.

“I’ll do everything you need,” Wonwoo replied, well aware his eyes were piercing Jun’s. “But _we_ , we don’t have to do anything…,” he added, for his own consciousness’ sake.

Jun considered his proposal in silence, but Wonwoo could see in his eyes he had understood it.

“Ok,” he finally agreed.

Wonwoo stared at him in shock, then recomposed himself quickly—he hadn’t expected Jun to accept it.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Aren’t you?”

“I’m sure.”

“Ok.”

“Ok.”

Taking a deep breath, Wonwoo stood up and extended his hand towards Jun, making his invitation clear. Jun took his hand, his eyes never leaving Wonwoo’s, his hoodie falling back when he stood up. Hand in hand, Wonwoo walked with him to his bedroom.

Wonwoo closed the door after they entered and turned the lights off when Jun was sat on the bed. The night was clear, and the moonlight, along with the light poles at the street, saved them from total darkness. Wonwoo got to his bed, and Jun had already laid down on, leaving him some space to follow. He pulled the blanket over them, turning to meet Jun’s eyes.

“Hi,” Jun said anxiously.

“Hi,” Wonwoo replied, tenderly touching Jun’s hair. “Come here.”

Jun hesitated but complied, nestling himself within Wonwoo’s arms and accepting his petting. It used to calm him, when he needed, unquestionably leading him to a sound sleep. Sometimes they got distracted with _other things_ previous to the sleeping part, but Wonwoo would be glad if he could just help Jun to sleep this time—he wasn’t stupid, he could feel that every cell of Jun’s body wasn’t entirely comfortable with their arrangement, so hoping for anything else was beyond foolish, he was aware of that. Wasn’t he? He felt his increasing heartbeat answering him.

“Thank you for helping me,” Jun’s voice came muffled in a whisper.

“No problem,” Wonwoo reassured him, and since his proximity with Jun was indeed affecting his brain, he couldn’t refrain to add, “you know I’ll always do anything you need.”

Instantly, Jun’s hold on him tightened for a second, then he emerged, untangled himself from Wonwoo’s arms but not putting any distance between them. His hands found Wonwoo’s jaw on each side and his eyes pierced Wonwoo’s intensely.

“Why you keep saying these things?” he asked angrily.

But Wonwoo didn’t have a chance to answer—Jun kissed him, stealing his reply, his air, his control, taking Wonwoo out of the metaphorical water he had been drowning into and filling his lungs and heart with hope.

He could feel Jun had given in somehow as well in the desperation of his kiss. His left leg circled Wonwoo’s waist to bring their bodies closer, and Wonwoo himself couldn’t stop his hands to entangle within Jun’s soft hair. Kissing Jun was like going home, finding the balance in the universe chaos, and Wonwoo wanted to cry from how much he had missed it.

Aware there were other things he missed too, he diverted his attention to Jun’s jawline, traveling down to target his neck instead.

“Wonu…” he heard Jun moaning out of breath, a great incentive for him to keep up his obviously good work.

Encouraged by the feeling of Jun’s fast heartbeat under his lips and the hard-on he was feeling poking his hip, Wonwoo raised his lips to Jun’s ear and dared to ask, “Junnie… do you want… more?”

“Yes!” Jun pleaded, throwing the blanket away from their increasingly hot bodies and holding Wonwoo’s face towards his own to capture his lips in another hungry kiss.

This fierceness was new to them. Wonwoo remembered they had been eager, but the truth was they never had been apart long enough to feel desperate. It was a new version of them, and Wonwoo wouldn’t complain about it—his cock was as hard as Jun’s, just to begin with. At some level, his mind was aware this could also be his last time with Jun, and between angry crying and making the most of it, his brain had chosen the latter, thankfully.

Without leaving Jun’s lips, his hands searched for his waistband, at the same time he positioned himself to align their groins. He pulled Jun’s pants down and grabbed his buttocks impulsively, making both of them moan within their kiss. He felt Jun’s hands copying his movements, then his trousers were also gone, the sudden cold air touching his skin. Wonwoo took off his shirt as fast as possible, but before resuming their kissing, he noticed Jun hadn’t moved to take off his hoodie—instead, he was watching Wonwoo’s chest, biting his lower lip with hungry eyes, hair disheveled and still breathless.

“Let’s not get it dirty,” Wonwoo said, lifting the hem of Jun’s hoodie above his nipples, instantly remembering how much Jun liked when he nibbled at them. He proceeded to attack the left one, obviously, earning new moans from Jun, who wriggled until his pants were completely gone and brought his leg back to Wonwoo’s hip. His hands were tight on Wonwoo’s biceps, slightly caressing them from time to time.

“Wonu, please,” Jun pleaded again, his voice weak. Wonwoo kissed his nipple one last time, and found Jun’s lips again. Their tongues moved like a dance, and without missing one step of it, Wonwoo directed his hand to leave Jun’s ass and find his cock between their bodies.

“Oh, god,” Jun moaned inside his mouth, giving him some more space.

It was exactly like he remembered—Jun was still fair, and Wonwoo was still ridiculously hairy. He circled his hand around the smooth skin his hands were once so familiar with, making Jun hiss, abruptly abandoning Wonwoo’s lips to bite the spot his neck met his shoulder. Wonwoo smiled contently, leaning on Jun’s hair, on everything _Jun_ he could reach.

He felt Jun holding tighter on him, breath heavy. Wishing he could do the same, Wonwoo used his other hand to embrace Jun, left hand finding his ass again. His right hand, though, left Jun’s cock for a second to accommodate Wonwoo’s own cock, now sliding by Jun’s, who responded to the new feeling incoherently.

Wonwoo had missed it so much, to be close to Jun, especially like this. Despite every memory of them he treasured, nothing compared to the reality of feeling Jun’s skin against his own. It was all too overwhelming, and the only force actually making his hand move up and down was the resolution to keep hearing the sounds Jun was making. 

“Junnie,” he called, when the vulnerability of it all hit him, along with the awareness he was close. There was no need to be more specific—Jun just raised his head from Wonwoo’s shoulder and crushed his lips on Wonwoo’s again, as much as their ragged breathing allowed them.

Sooner than expected, he felt Jun spilling over his hand and cock. That alone—Jun pulsing on his hand, his come dripping over Wonwoo’s cock—led him to the edge as well.

He opened his eyes and found Jun still had his closed, focused on regaining his breath. Wonwoo still hadn’t caught his own but felt his hand too sticky to ignore, so he reached back on his nightstand to grab some tissues. He cleaned them both and discarded the tissues when done.

More comfortable now, and feeling his breath was stabilizing, Wonwoo could appreciate Wen Junhui’s post-orgasm peaceful expression, another thing his memory hadn’t done justice to. Jun was smiling softly at him, an easiness that reached his eyes. Wonwoo reached out to caress his hair again, and when Jun closed his eyes in content, Wonwoo couldn’t control the exploding warmth that took over his heart—he hugged him tightly, burying his head on Jun’s shoulder.

Part of him was aware there was a great chance nothing hadn’t changed between them, that Jun still didn’t feel the same, but the hope ignited by his smile, by the true feeling that Jun was comfortable to be intimate with Wonwoo again, was powerful enough to make him say it. Even knowing silence was their best, safest choice at this moment, Wonwoo said it, in a whisper by Jun’s neck, “I missed your skin.”

A second after the words left his lips, he knew all the hope he had been feeling was misguided. Jun froze within his arms, slowly retrieving his hands from around Wonwoo and pulling the other away gently.

“Please,” he said weakly, not meeting Wonwoo’s eyes again. “Please, don’t say these things anymore, please.” He pulled down his hoodie, covering himself and, hesitantly, nestled his body towards Wonwoo again, this time making a point of keeping his hands to himself.

Wonwoo watched it all paralyzed. Swallowing, he put himself together, even if his true wish was to run, cry, and hit his stupid head at something to finally understand his feelings were unrequited. He did nothing at the sorts—deep down, Wonwoo knew that if Jun hadn’t himself run away, he must be really desperate to sleep at all costs. If Wonwoo could in any way offer him this, he would stay and truly do whatever Jun needed him to.

Since now this included _‘not saying these things anymore_ ,’ and Wonwoo couldn’t hit his head to comprehension, he resigned to his saddest, most dreadful memory, one arm still comforting Jun while his heart was once again crushed on his memories.

It had been some days after they had gone all the way—for the first and only time. They had done it on their last night before going back to Korea, and the whole group schedule had been pretty packed in the following days. Wonwoo didn’t get the chance to talk to Jun about it, and he really wanted to. It had been great, they both seemed pretty happy, and Wonwoo felt all the romantic clichés were alive in his chest, but he needed to confirm with Jun whether they were on the same page. Especially because Wonwoo’s page had turned towards their next chapter.

That evening, they finally had a break. He had seen in their group chat that some members were hanging out in Jihoon’s studio, Jun among them, and Wonwoo headed there as soon as he could, his heart aching to meet his destiny.

_He remembered entering the room and be instantly sure Jihoon wasn’t there. An old Shinee hit was clashing against loud voices, suspiciously inebriated, and only the dim blue lights of the room were on, setting the atmosphere. After observing the whole situation and concluding the safest spot was as far away as Jihoon’s action figures and whatever Soonyoung was doing with them, Wonwoo’s eyes found an indistinguishable tall, broad silhouette sitting all spread on the couch, by the other side of the room. His legs led the way, his fast heartbeat turning all the chaos around him in slow motion._

_He should have figured when Jun didn’t even move to greet him, or acknowledged his presence in any way, that things were all wrong. But his stupid eager heart was pumping hope through his stupid veins, making his brain take all the stupid choices. Wonwoo sat by Jun’s side and turned to him. Jun’s right open eyes didn’t move._

_“I’ve been wanting to talk to you for days now, about the other night…” Getting still no response, Wonwoo kept going. “I really liked it, you know? And I think you liked it too. And maybe I liked it too much, I hope not,” he paused to chuckle, embarrassed, “but I hope we can do it again. I hope you want it too. In fact,” he took a deep breath and gathered all the courage he had. “I know we’ve been fooling around for some time now, and I know we’ve never really talked about it, but at this point, I think we can’t deny there is_ something _happening here. At least from my side, I’d love to… take things more seriously, even if no one can know. I think,” he exhaled, the lack of response shaking his confidence and causing him to drop his gaze. “Actually, I’m pretty sure… I’m falling for you.”_

_Jun said nothing. After some seconds in which his head convinced him to ‘_ look up, Jun is probably looking at you all confused or something, _’ he raised his eyes only to find Jun in the exact same position he had been all along—he hadn’t moved since Wonwoo got there._

_At first, Wonwoo was confused. He had been at least mildly confident Jun was enjoying their time together, certainly enough to spare Wonwoo a rejection. Then it hit him. They were groupmates, everything they did affected not only the other eleven members but also all the staff, the company, their fans… If Jun didn’t love Wonwoo back, maybe the safest course of action was to pretend nothing had happened. And maybe the first step into this path was to just ignore Wonwoo completely._

_“I see,” Wonwoo said dryly, trying to swallow the knot taking shape inside his throat. “I won’t be bothering you again.”_

_Ignoring the others’ inquiries about where the hell he was going, Wonwoo left to their dorm, embarking in seven hours of intense, angry playing that did nothing to ease his heartbreak._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!  
> I have to confess this chapter made my beta sad and I felt SO PROUD of myself G_G  
> But no worries, chapter 4 is almost done and I hope to post it on Jun's birthday <3  
> Kudos and comments ARE EXTREMELY APPRECIATED please yell at me if I made you sad :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to the best, sweetest boy, Wen Junhui <3  
> Thank you for making me so happy only by being yourself.  
> It's time to make your character-based version happy in this world I created.
> 
> Thanks to my beta, my savior, for reading this in such short notice.

Next morning, Wonwoo woke up alone in his bed. He lingered there for a while, turning towards the empty space Jun had warmed during the night, his arm stretched over it with his fingers tracing random patterns. It wasn’t new for him to wake up alone. Their schedules, along with the need to hide their true intimacy, usually made it common Jun to be way gone when Wonwoo got up. It didn’t evade Wonwoo that this morning neither reason was valid.

The only thing left now was to ponder whether the hollowness within his chest was worth to enjoy Jun’s proximity while possible. It was a dumb question, honestly—it was always worth it when Jun was concerned. His only option, then, was to make the best of it, committing every detail to memory since Wonwoo knew that, as soon as they were back to Seoul, Jun would feel as distant as if he alone had gotten back to China.

Wonwoo wouldn’t be saying _those things_ , then.

With a final sigh, he got up and went to face the day and his unrequested love.

He found him in the kitchen, singing a Chinese ballad Wonwoo was only vaguely familiar with. Trying not to be so quiet this time, he got closer to the kitchen counter. He noticed his presence didn’t make Jun stop singing, what Wonwoo already considered a huge improvement.

“Do you need any help?” He offered.

“No need, I’m almost done.”

Noticing Jun was only kindly stirring the pot, Wonwoo decided to be bold. Positioning himself slightly behind Jun pretending to pick at the food being cooked, he carefully enclosed his arms around Jun’s waist, hugging him from behind.

“Is this ok?” He whispered, noticing a light blush appear on Jun’s cheeks (‘ _It could be from the stove heat_ ,’ Wonwoo reminded himself.).

“Ok,” Jun replied softly, his eyes intensively never leaving the pot.

A comfortable silence set their embrace, and Wonwoo did his best to collect every detail to memory—the feeling of having his arms around Jun’s waist, the coziness in which his chin was resting on Jun’s shoulder, the way Wonwoo’s chest fit like a jigsaw puzzle against Jun’s wide back. He closed his eyes, absorbing all the sensations, noticing the amazing smell of seasoning coming from the pot as well as the tips of Jun’s hair brushing his forehead. It was too much, and Wonwoo was too weak. Losing all his carefulness in Jun’s proximity, he dared to tilt his head a bit and carefully kissed one of Jun’s cheeks.

The other tensed within his arms.

Wonwoo loosened his hug, giving him and Jun an inch of space everywhere they were touching. He waited for Jun’s imminent reaction.

“You’re saying it without words, Wonwoo,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo said, fighting the knot that invaded his throat. Leaving Jun’s warmth behind, he stepped back. To occupy his mind, he busied himself setting the table, not daring to be closer to Jun again.

What had he been thinking? He obviously was still a bit asleep, because there was no way he would throw himself over Jun with a sane mind after just being rejected for a second time. _Way to go, Jeon Wonwoo, now you have collected three rejections_. How many he would need to get a fucking grip and move on from loving Wen Junhui?

He braced himself for another excruciatingly silent meal, but as soon as everything was ready, he realized Jun had prepared one of Wonwoo’s favorite dishes.

Besides being aware food was not a joke for Jun, Wonwoo shut down all possibilities in a heavy chest within his brain to avoid overthinking it.

“Thank you for helping me sleep,” Jun said in a very low voice, eyes not meeting Wonwoo’s.

“Whenever you need,” he bit his tongue as soon as the words left his lips. It was official: he absolutely could not function around Jun anymore. Everything he did was to spill his heart out every chance he got.

Thankfully, Jun didn’t reply, and the foreseeable excruciating meal wasn’t as bad as Wonwoo had imagined—the food was too good, and each bite lightened his heart a little. However, he couldn’t risk being around Jun anymore and making him uncomfortable yet again due to some dumb feeling unintentionally pouring out of Wonwoo. For the whole afternoon, he resorted to his old tactics of hiding in his bedroom and channeling his frustration on shooting fictional guys. It was a pity, though, that he couldn’t focus, really, and after the twentieth time his little guy died, he exchanged distractions and spent a couple of hours talking to Carats. He had to give up that as well, after realizing it was the third Jun-related post he had replied. Facepalming himself and kicking the bed for a bit, he wondered if someday he would be strong enough to conquer his Wen Junhui endearment.

Giving a deep breath and setting his mind to just reheat some lunch leftovers and have dinner in his bedroom, Wonwoo ventured to the living room. He wouldn’t spare a single glance at Jun, he would be strong, determined, the future of Seventeen rested on his ability to not even glance at—

The dim light of dusk engulfed the living room, the long shadows of the streetlamps invading the inside. At the couch was another shadowy figure, tall and broad, spread on the couch. It was all too familiar, so much the déjà vu sensation made Wonwoo dizzy.

 _Isn’t this too cruel?_ , he asked the unforgiving universe. _Or is it a chance for closure?_

Standing by the doorway and taken in the scenery, Wonwoo tried to focus on what was different this time. First, he was feeling miserable, and not about to give his heart away. Second, it wasn’t as dark as it had been in Jihoon’s studio, which led to the third difference—this time, Jun was obviously asleep. It was a typical Jun position, with his head thrown back, lips slightly parted and eyes open.

 _It will be so hard to forget him_ , Wonwoo considered, _because I can’t seem to find a part of him that I don’t love._ Even the stupid sleeping-with-his-eyes-open thing, even that, Wonwoo thought endearing instead of creepy.

He signed, resigned that this was not a closure moment. Heading to the kitchen, he wondered if maybe he needed some time, some more distance, maybe if he tried not to think about the good memories, maybe if he just focused on how painful it was when Jun ignored him instead of how cute Wonwoo thought he was when he slept with his eyes—

...open.

Wonwoo paused and turned again to the scene.

Was it possible? Was it possible, in any way, that…?

Did Wonwoo dare to hope?

Wonwoo was scared. Scared to death that he could be right, which would lead to him trying again—it wasn’t an option not to—and potentially having his heart crushed once more.

Were the remaining pieces big enough to handle yet another rejection?

He stared at the sleeping, unmoving form of Jun for some minutes, summoning all the details he could remember of one of his most painful memories.

Concluding it was completely possible, he got back to the kitchen, slightly out of breath. He went from side to side, the adrenaline resulting from his discovery charging his body into any kind of action. At last, he sunk down the floor, his back resting on the wall, and held his head between his hands, a mixture of desperation and excitement overcoming him. He took some deep breaths to calm down.

Wonwoo chased his memories, scared about fabricating some detail only to ease his mind and feed his hope. But there was no avoiding it. Wonwoo recalled how his heart had beaten fast, how sure he was he and Jun were about to become boyfriends of some sort. Wonwoo’s mind was so clouded of emotions he judged utterly possible that he had misunderstood the situation.

And if Jun was sleeping on that day in Jihoon’s studio, maybe he hadn’t heard…

If Jun had not heard him confessing, if he wasn’t ignoring Wonwoo at all…

Wonwoo remembered how the days had gone after that. He was so hurt, but their schedule was too busy for him to curl on his bed, hide under the covers, and cry his heartbreak out. Worse, he had to face Jun daily instead. He remembered being angry—apparently Jun intended to ignore him only when they were alone, since nothing had changed in front of everyone else.

Of course, Wonwoo was too pissed to give him another chance for them to be alone.

But if Jun wasn’t pretending, wasn’t hurting him even deeper, if he had never heard Wonwoo… Then he must had thought Wonwoo was the one avoiding him, right after they had slept together.

Cold realization drowned upon Wonwoo’s whole body, cell by cell. Oh, he was so stupid. And he had made Jun suffer so much.

A part of him felt terrible—but the other one couldn’t help to think it all _made so much sense_. Of course Jun would get so terrible angry of being trapped here alone with Wonwoo, of course he wouldn’t accept Wonwoo’s tenderness… 

Putting his last stray of reasoning in action, Wonwoo restrained himself from running to Jun and held him very tight. It wouldn’t be fair to him, and Wonwoo had screwed up too many things already. He had to make this right. Wonwoo wasn’t sure if his love still had a chance with Jun, maybe it never had, but their friendship still could be saved. He hoped.

Wonwoo got to his feet determined to make it up—not before washing the tears he was shocked to discover running down his face, but still. He would say sorry in Wen Junhui language.

It wasn’t easy. First, because he had to be quiet, to not wake Jun sleeping in the room. Second, because he was a terrible cook, and not even the most detailed videos could save his ass. But he could do it. He had to.

When Wonwoo started to bake the pancakes, he heard footsteps entering the kitchen.

“Are you _cooking_?” Jun asked incredulously.

“You think only you are allowed to cook?” Wonwoo turned to face him, finding out Jun’s eyes were slightly puffed, sleep still present on his features.

“ _Pfff_ ,” Jun mocked. “For fuck’s sake, Wonwoo, don’t even try. What the hell are you doing?”

Wonwoo turned back to flip a pancake, unable to face Jun and say the truth.

“You’ve been cooking all this time, this is the least I can do.”

“Pancakes for dinner? We still have leftovers from lunch.”

Well, like his first time confessing, Wonwoo hadn’t thought this through.

“We’re adults, we can eat whatever we want for dinner.”

Jun chuckled. “All right, impressed me, then!” 

A little nervous, Wonwoo finished cooking the pancakes as fast as he could. He sat the pile at the table, sitting across from Jun. They started eating in silence, Wonwoo so focused on how to approach the subject he wasn’t even paying attention to what he was eating.

“It’s a bit… raw,” Jun said uncertainly.

“What? Oh,” Wonwoo blushed. He already knew his head didn’t function at its best when he was about to confess, why he had to add ‘attempt to cook’ to this unfortunate equation? “Sorry, you don’t have to eat it.”

“It’s ok, I don’t mind,” Jun reassured him, a huge chunk ready to be devoured.

It was such a small thing, but it got Wonwoo right on his heart, giving him the courage he so much needed.

“Do you remember that day the guys trashed Jihoon’s studio when he was out? When Soonie was playing with his action figures?”

Jun stopped his fork in mid-air, frowning.

“How do you know he was playing with the toys?”

 _Oh, boy._ Wonwoo’s heart was speeding up, he couldn’t even relish on what would Jihoon say if he heard Jun calling his dear collection ‘toys.’

“Because I was there. I—I talked to you.”

Jun gave up on eating, resting his fork, and glaring at Wonwoo in puzzlement.

“No, you didn’t. I specifically remembered I—,” he swallowed, avoiding Wonwoo’s eyes to proceed, “I remember I was waiting for you, and you never show up.”

Wonwoo held his breath.

“Junnie,” he finally could say with all the tenderness the name deserved—it made Jun grimace, but Wonwoo hoped it was the last time. “I talked to you when you were on the couch. I left because… you didn’t reply to me.”

Jun blinked confused.

“I think I was sleeping for a while. I remembered waking up with Seokmin tripped over Soonyoung or… something like that. I never got what happened there.” Jun frowned, lost in the weird memory. “But why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I—I didn’t know you were asleep, your eyes were opened...” Wonwoo paused. He had his poker face on, the one he never could use with Jun, but which now was essential for him to manage to say his words. His hands were sweating, his legs were shaking, and he wasn’t sure how he was able to form sentences at all. “I thought… you were ignoring me.”

Jun’s features hardened, his lips in a thin line. He looked down at his plate and said with coldness, “I would never ignore you. It’s a pity you can’t say the same to me.”

“Junnie,” Wonwoo reached out to grab Jun’s hand, leaning over the table, his eyes begging the other to listen to him. “I thought you had rejected me. I thought you didn’t want to be around me anymore.”

“Rejected? What did you say to me?” Jun asked apprehensively, and Wonwoo could feel his hand tremble, but Jun wasn’t retreating it. Another small victory.

“I—,” he swallowed, choosing his words carefully. “I said I wanted to take things more... more seriously.”

Despite holding Wonwoo’s hand more tightly, Jun didn’t say anything for some time. Wonwoo stared at him expectantly, but in silence. He was feeling out of breath, his heartbeat certainly on the edge of a heart attack, but he could see Jun was processing it all, going through the same ride of emotions Wonwoo just had, and Wonwoo wouldn’t rush him.

Suddenly, his warm hand left Wonwoo’s, and Jun hit the tabletop angrily.

“You’re such an idiot!”

Wonwoo blinked, startled by Jun’s reaction, although, to be honest, he didn’t know what to expect either. Paralyzed, he watched Jun stood up and circle the table to get in front of Wonwoo.

“Stand up.”

Wonwoo complied instinctively, propelled to do whatever Jun wanted him to. They were really close now, only inches apart, and Wonwoo could see he wasn’t the only one out of breath. He watched Jun stare at him, his features changing from anger to—sadness? Jun’s eyes were in the process to get watery, and Wonwoo was about to reach to him, not wanting to make him sad once more. Before he could move, Jun collapsed over him, encircled Wonwoo’s shoulders in the tightest hug he had ever received.

He hugged him back, closing his eyes and burying his nose in Jun’s neck. They stayed like that for a while, and Wonwoo could feel, literally feel, Jun’s heartbeat slowing down, his body calming down and replace the shuddering with peace. Wonwoo could feel it too.

“You still want to take things more seriously?” Wonwoo heard the whisper by his ear.

“Yes,” Wonwoo whispered back.

Jun reinforced his hug in reply.

“What else did you say to me?” he asked sheepishly, but Wonwoo could sense a hint of the usual mischief in his voice.

“I said I had really liked that night,” Wonwoo voice was low and calm. He didn’t need to worry to repress his feelings anymore. “I don’t know if you remember, but we had just… you know… some nights before that day, but we were so busy that I couldn’t say it earlier.”

“I remember,” Jun said. Wonwoo could feel the tip of his nose touching his own neck, indicating Jun had turned his head. “I liked it too.”

“Then I said I wanted to take things more seriously, even if no one can know about it,” he paused, savoring his last secret at the tip of his tongue. “Then I said I was falling for you.”

Jun move away from his neck to face him.

“Have you? Are you still...?” he asked hopefully.

Wonwoo smiled softly.

“Always, fallin, fallin, fallin…” he singsonged their new song by Jun’s ear, making the other laugh.

Jun rested his forehead on Wonwoo’s shoulder again.

“I can’t believe this is happening, honestly.”

“Do you need more proof?” Wonwoo challenged, kissing his cheek, and enjoying the fact he could.

“No, it’s just…” he faced Wonwoo again. “When Soonyoung left me here, I had to mentally prepare myself to be miserable for god knows how many days. It was really hard.”

“I can imagine… It was really not cool, even from him,” Wonwoo agreed.

“No, you can’t imagine…” Jun shook his head. “Wonwoo, I’ve been trying to take you out of my head for weeks now. When I heard you would be here with your parents, I was so relieved, I thought I would be able to stop thinking about you when you weren’t around. But it wasn’t working, I still couldn’t sleep, even knowing you weren’t downstairs…”

“Junnie,” Wonwoo caressed his cheek, his heart heavy for causing Jun so much pain.

“Then he made come here, which I was not pleased about, but the options were to hold my bladder for another hour or go to a public bathroom, which is a terrible option during a pandemic.”

“I’m glad you still chose me over a pandemic,” Wonwoo joked. Jun hit his shoulder hard.

“Of course I did. You see, even though I knew being away from you was the right thing to do, I already _missed_ you, I wanted to see you.”

“Maybe you drunk two bubble teas knowing you two would have to stop by my plac— _ouch_!” Jun hit him again. Wonwoo smiled—Jun had hit him twice in five minutes, which could only mean they were getting back on track.

“Then,” Jun continued, stressing he wasn’t done yet. “I got trapped here, at your parents’ house, alone with you. And it wasn’t enough that you couldn’t stay in the same room as me for more than twenty minutes—”

“Junnie…”

“...every inch of this house screams you, Wonwoo. So even when you were not on sight, you _were there_ . I could _scent_ you everywhere, you know what this means?”

“N-no?”

Jun got really close to him, their noses touching.

“It means I was half-hard the whole time,” he whispered to Wonwoo’s mouth before kissing him.

 _Fuck_ , _that was hot_ , Wonwoo shivered. Even though all he wanted was to shove Jun against the nearest wall, he followed Jun’s slow rhythm. It was like they were rediscovering their lips, nevermind they had kissed only hours before, or countless times over the last years. Jun kissed him deliberately, exploring Wonwoo’s lips before venturing into his mouth. Then their tongues met again, but their encounter didn’t hurry them in any way, not even when Wonwoo couldn’t help to nip at Jun’s lower lip from time to time.

“Are you hard now?” He dared to ask without break their kiss.

“I’m getting there,” Jun replied, pressing his groin on Wonwoo’s thigh.

Wonwoo moaned, certain he would be in the same situation in no time.

“Is there anything else you want to say, because honestly, I can’t hold myself much longer,” Wonwoo confessed, failing to hide the desperation in his voice.

“Only one more thing,” Jun abandoned Wonwoo’s mouth to trace kisses over his jawline. “You’ve ruined me, you know?”

“Hum?” Wonwoo was too distracted to keep up.

“You’ve ruined me,” Jun got to Wonwoo’s ear and nipped it. “It’s never enough, now. Every time, I have to finger myself, otherwise it’s not enough, and even that it’s not,” he sucked Wonwoo ear lobe, “the same.”

“Fuck,” Wonwoo moaned. Regaining control, he stepped away from Jun, glaring at the mischief all over his eyes, Jun’s swallowed lips almost too distracting. “My bed, now.”

They got to Wonwoo’s bedroom eventually, and Jun shoved him on the bed, straddling his lap, his hands on each side of Wonwoo’s head. He carefully took off Wonwoo’s glasses and rested them on the nightstand.

“Do you know,” Jun attacked Wonwoo’s neck, “the amount of lube I had to buy, only to have _none_ available in the last days? I couldn’t bring myself to use any of your mom’s lotion…”

“Jesus, Junnie, you’ll kill me saying these things,” Wonwoo moaned, his hands slithering under Jun’s hoodie. Then his brain caught up with Jun’s words. “Shit, we don’t have any lube or condoms.”

Jun froze, moving away from Wonwoo’s neck and sitting on his lap, horrified.

“Oh, no. No!”

“You’re so eager for my cock,” Wonwoo teased, pleased.

“Yes, I am! And I can’t believe after all this time I can’t have it!” Jun pouted, not embarrassed at all. Wonwoo realized he was truly upset.

“Hey, come here,” Wonwoo sat on the bed, holding him close again. “We’ll get there, and we can do other stuff—”

He was interrupted by Jun jumping from his lap and running to the other side of the room.

“Aha!” Jun exclaimed, triumphant. After looking into Wonwoo’s bag, he resurfaced with a bottle of lube and at least ten condoms in hand. Wonwoo sat straight in pure shock.

“How the hell these ended up in my bag?”

Jun gave him his most teasing smile.

“You never wondered how I got the stuff last time?”

To be completely honest, when Jun had jumped on his bed that night, lube and condom in hands, whispering “ _I already prepped myself, do you want to try fucking me?,_ ” Wonwoo’s mind short-circuited and his whole world narrowed to Jun’s ass. He still considered it a completely justified reaction.

“I was kinda distracted, you know?”

Jun smirked.

“Well, I hid these in the inner pocket of your bag on our trip to Japan. We’re so lucky you packed the same to come here.”

Wonwoo was mortified.

“I’ve been using this bag for months, during our whole tour. This is a cabin bag, what the security check people on _all_ that airports must have thought…”

Jun laughed really hard, getting closer to him. Then he got comfortable straddling Wonwoo’s lap again.

“Do you think it wasn’t worth it?”

“Oh, it was totally worth it,” Wonwoo replied without hesitation, hands automatically finding Jun’s ass—there was no question about it, really. “And I guarantee it’ll be worth it this time, too.”

Jun smiled brightly and they kissed again, a bit more intensely than before. Wonwoo could feel Jun’s hard cock brushing over his from time to time, and it was just maddening. It only intensified his need to be even closer.

“Can I take this off today?” He asked, holding up the hem of Jun’s hoodie.

“Yes,” Jun complied without stop tracing kisses over Wonwoo’s face.

Soon, they were both shirtless, and Wonwoo was relieved to feel Jun’s skin against his again, this time aware it wouldn’t be the last. He kissed Jun’s collarbone and bit his shoulder, then proceeded to alternate like this throughout his torso. At each kiss and bite, he wondered how he had gone so long away from Jun. He was vaguely aware Jun’s hands were exploring his arms, his other hand holding Wonwoo’s nape, Jun’s fingers interlaced on his hair. Jun’s hips were rubbing against his at a pace that would make Wonwoo lose control pretty quick, which he was pretty sure neither of them intended.

“Let’s take these out too,” he said to Jun’s lips, kissing him again while his fingers pulled down Jun’s waistband. Jun responded pushing Wonwoo to the bed, mischief back to his eyes. He got rid of his own pants and underwear, then pulled Wonwoo’s pants down slowly, his whole body along with the movement. He stopped by Wonwoo’s crotch though, his tongue teasingly licking the tip of Wonwoo’s shaft just to abandon it after a second, leaving Wonwoo miserable. He watched Jun take off his pants and leave them by the floor, along with his own. Not wasting a second, Wonwoo sat on the bed just to drag Jun by the arm to lay back on top of him, then maneuvered them both to lay side by side. He paused, taking his time to register Jun’s face on his memories.

“Hi,” Jun smiled at him.

“Hi,” Wonwoo smiled back. He played with a thread of Jun’s bangs, feeling the other rest his hand by Wonwoo’s waist. “I’m glad we’re doing this again.”

“Me too,” Jun lowered his eyes, biting his lower lip. “But it has been some time… I’ve been fingering myself a lot, but still…”

“I’ll take care of you,” promised Wonwoo.

After some discussion, they positioned Jun on his knees, his head and elbows supporting him on the bed. Wonwoo swallowed—he had imagined, for sure, but Jun’s beauty would also catch him out off guard. He kissed Jun’s buttocks tenderly while spreading his legs apart. Wonwoo caressed Jun’s strong thighs and finally grabbed the lube by the nightstand. He hadn’t prepared Jun the last time, and although Wonwoo didn’t want to get even close to hurting him, he was pretty confident—and eager—to get going. With one hand loosely encircling Jun’s cock, Wonwoo began to carefully touch Jun’s hole with the other. He worked Jun open slowly, one finger at the time, his left hand in charge of keeping Jun hard at all times. When his third finger was easily coming in and out, the vision and the tightness of Jun’s insides were driving Wonwoo over the edge, his abandoned hard-on hanging painfully between his legs, Jun’s moans only making his situation more difficult.

“Junnie—,” he almost begged.

“Wonu, please,” Jun turned his head to face Wonwoo, cheeks redden and eyes dazzled. Wonwoo felt his legs tremble.

Wonwoo retreated his fingers, getting the condom as fast as he could. He applied more lube over the condom just to be sure, and was about to position himself on Jun’s entrance when the other stopped him.

“I—I wanted to be close to you, to see you,” Jun asked softly.

“Come here,” Wonwoo pulled Jun’s wrist lightly. Now they were both kneeling on the bed enlaced in each other’s arms. “I think this position would be easier for you this time. What about we turned to the door direction? You can see us in the mirror.”

Jun glanced at the mirror and blushed. Wonwoo could understand him. He was partially happy he wouldn’t be able to see more than a blur without his glasses—if his brain had access to the clear image, he surely would be undone in a matter of seconds.

“Ok,” Jun agreed, kissing Wonwoo tenderly one more time.

Jun rearranged himself towards the mirror in the same position he was before. Wonwoo leaned over him, tracing his spine with kisses until he got to his waist. Then, he aligned himself and pressed in.

“Oh!” Jun moaned, hands clutching the sheets. Wonwoo caressed his legs in support.

“It’s just the tip,” he informed. Jun trembled.

Wonwoo pressed in as slowly as he could. It was very challenging, he had to admit, and weren’t for years of training self-control for the idol life, maybe he would already have pounded in one go into Jun. Jun was hot, and tight, and perfect, and all Wonwoo could think about at that moment was in never letting him go. Once he was seated, his groin touching Jun’s ass, he waited the time Jun needed to adjust to the sensation.

“Wonu,” was all Jun managed to gasp, and Wonwoo knew he was ready. Wishing the moment to last, he held Jun’s hips and moved, setting an evilly slow rhythm that made Jun curse and beg under him. The slow pace was almost a torture of some sort to Wonwoo himself, but he could tell they were both enjoying it. He dropped his eyes and watched mesmerized his cock lazily entering Jun over and over, the sound of Jun’s moans accompanying his pace. Jun was completely relaxed under him, and suddenly, despite being literally inside Jun, Wonwoo felt they weren’t close enough.

Wonwoo leaned over Jun, his right hand sliding from his hip to encircle his waist.

“Ahh!” Jun groaned with the change in position.

“Come up here, Junnie,” Wonwoo whispered by his ear, an irresistible nip on the lobe not evading him.

Jun complied willingly, following the movement of Wonwoo’s body. Soon he was almost seated on Wonwoo’s lap, spine arched and his back pressed against Wonwoo’s chest. Sweaty and out of breath, they both resumed moving, Jun meeting Wonwoo’s thrusts eagerly. Wonwoo increased his speed, watching the blur of his and Jun’s forms at the mirror—he could barely make the sight of Jun’s hard cock bobbing. Jun caught him looking, desperately aware Wonwoo had been caressing his tights and holding his hips hard, but not touching his aching cock.

“Touch me,” he moaned again.

“In a second,” Wonwoo reassured him, bringing him to whine. Wonwoo felt both of them were very close, but he was determined to make it last as long as he could resist. In a moment of pure instinct, he moved his hand to cup Jun’s bollocks and begun to suck his neck. Jun threw his head back giving him more access.

“Wonu…”

“I’m here, Junnie.”

It finally became too much, and Wonwoo surrendered. He encircled Jun’s cock with his hand and thrust, trying to follow the same pace of his cock, relentlessly in and out of Jun’s hole. Wonwoo felt the other’s body contracting in his arms, then Jun came spilling all over Wonwoo’s hand. His spasms were strong, taking over all his body, his walls contracting around Wonwoo non-stop, finally bringing him over the edge. Jun’s body was still slightly twitching when Wonwoo stopped pulsing inside him.

He felt Jun collapsing on top of him, out of breath like himself. Not managing to hold their weights anymore, Wonwoo slowly lay on the bed, carrying Jun with him. Side by side, hand in hand, they regained their breaths. Noticing Jun was relaxed, almost asleep, Wonwoo went to the bathroom to grab a towel and clean themselves. Once all sticky matters were out of their way, he threw the blankets over them both and nested Jun in his arms, their legs entangled.

“You didn’t say anything, you know,” Wonwoo observed, caressing Jun’s hair.

“You didn’t ask me anything,” Jun replied teasingly.

Wonwoo contemplated his remark. Yeah, he hadn’t asked anything, but he wasn’t sure what question he should make. Could they be boyfriends if no one could know about it? Would that be a relationship?

“I’m not sure what should I ask you,” Wonwoo chose the truth. “I can’t actually offer to go public with you, despite my wishes.”

Jun raised his head, supporting his arm on Wonwoo’s chest to face him.

“You didn’t say anything about going public earlier,” he tilted his head.

“No, I mean,” Wonwoo recalled the words he would never forget. “I said I wanted to take things more seriously between us.”

“And what does it have to do with going public?” Jun questioned, caressing Wonwoo’s chest. “Isn’t it enough for you that we both want to be together? Can’t we be serious just between us?”

It wasn’t enough, not really, and probably it wasn’t enough for Jun as well, but at the same time, it was more than Wonwoo had dared to dream.

“For now, yeah,” Wonwoo smiled, lifting his head to peck Jun’s lips.

“I’m really falling for you too,” Jun confessed seriously. “That’s why it hurt so much you being kind to me after all these weeks avoiding me. I really wanted to hear what you said to me on that night. I wish I hadn’t been asleep just to hear you.”

“I promise I’ll find a way to repeat it all to you every chance I get,” Wonwoo said tenderly.

“So cheesy,” Jun giggled, and Wonwoo slapped him weakly. He rested his head on Wonwoo again, and they felt in comfortable silence.

It was the weirdest thing, Wonwoo realized, to feel your chest light this way. It made him see how much weight he had been carrying unnoticed. He felt relieved, but also in peace to have his best friend back.

“I can’t believe Soonyoung left you for kimchi,” he recalled commenting. Although it seemed like a lifetime, they didn’t get a chance to really talk about it.

“I know, right?” Jun lift his head again to look at him, surprised. “That was really mean, even to his crazy mind. I think I’ll really send Jihoon those pics.”

“You haven’t already?” Wonwoo chuckled. Jun was such a sweetheart—Wonwoo in his shoes would have done it the second Soonyoung refused to turn back. “Send them to me, I’ll send them to Jihoon.”

“What? No way, why?”

“Revenge doesn’t suit you.” There was nothing Wonwoo believed more, not after Jun had fed him for almost a week even believing Wonwoo had ditched him after their first time.

Jun observed him, consideringly.

“This sounds too innocent for this industry. I think I should hang out with you more.”

Wonwoo laughed.

“I have no objection,” then, he found Jun’s lips in yet another kiss.

When Jun was quiet resting on his chest again, Wonwoo wondered how things would in fact change for them. He was sure the members would find out soon, Soonyoung at least was already suspicious, but even if they knew, he was aware his moments with Jun would be rare. Seventeen would always be their priority, he was sure Jun would agree with him on that. But like Jun had said, for now, it was enough they could count with one another. Maybe later, when idol life was fading away, Jun and he could have a home, a cat, and—

“I think I should learn how to cook,” Wonwoo concluded, frowning.

But Jun didn’t reply. His breathing was even, and Wonwoo checked, just to be sure, if he was sleeping. Wonwoo would ask him in the morning if he could hang out with Jun more as well.

Wonwoo was almost asleep when he remembered they had abandoned the pancakes. God, he had so much to learn with Jun. He hoped they could learn with each other for the longest of times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading all the way!  
> Please let me know your thoughts in the comments or in my [CC](https://curiouscat.me/keepcaratin). You can scream at me at [twitter](https://twitter.com/keepcaratin) too.
> 
> I'll take a break from posting in order to work in my next WIP (I have a feeling it will be a long story), but I have other wonhui fics posted in case you liked this one :) Just check my [profile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brunettelovegood/profile).
> 
> At some point posting this fic, I reached +100k wonhui words published in AO3. Thank you everyone who has commented, recced, and left me kudos along the way. You're all part of this writing journey with me <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> This fic is 75% done, which means everything is safe until chapter 3, and I hope to post weekly. Fingers crossed!  
> Kudos and comments are much, much appreciated! I'd love to hear what you're thinking so far :)  
> Find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/keepcaratin) for fic updates and lots of wonhui.  
> Is there anything you want to see wonhui doing under lockdown? Let me know on my [CC](https://curiouscat.me/keepcaratin)!


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